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Laundromat
by J. Ott
EXT. LAUNDOMAT - DAY - ESTABLISHING
There are some trash cans visible at the mouth of an alley to one side. RAP MUSIC, or HEAVY METAL, or PUNK ROCK - some track that prides itself on being unlistenable.
EXT. ALLEY - CONTINUOUS
Music becomes louder on the cut. We pan from a tight shot of the trash cans to an open door on a car (whose stereo is the presumed source of the music) to the face of...
GARY, teens, earring in his left ear, chewing gum. We follow along the graffitid wall to...
CODY, teens, smoking a joint, a cold look in his eyes.
Note: All people are shown only in tight close-ups. We do not know how tall they are. We do not know what they are wearing.
CODY
The dinosaurs, I bet they never saw it coming.
He passes the joint to Gary, who nods in silent assent.
INT. LAUNDOMAT - DAY
Two or three machines in the whole place are on, loudly grinding the clothes within them.
CUT TO:
A LAUNDRY BASKET, moving down the aisles, carried by someone we cant yet see. The laundry basket pauses and hands unload from it several articles of loose hempen clothing and a yoga mat.
A hand, also holding a pill bottle, feeds quarters into the machine. Tilt up from the hand to the face of...
BHANU, a stressed-out yoga instructor. He pops a pill into his mouth and chews.
CUT TO:
Bhanu, now seated. On the wall behind him are signs like MANAGEMENT NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CLOTHING LOST OR STOLEN. Bhanu puts a cell phone to his ear.
BHANU
Steve, I gotta tell you-- Om shanti to you too man, listen-- No. No. Im in a...
(looks around)
...An effing laundromat right now. I said, Im in an effing laundromat. A laundromat. Yeah, it broke down. Im probably going to be like fifteen or so minutes late to the lesson.
00020000074D000006DA 747,(pause)
Okay, just do some sun salutations to warm up then. Sun salutations. I said do some--
CLOSE ON THE PHONE - the display reads Battery Low - Please Recharge.
BHANU (CONT'D)
(in lieu of shit)
Shiatsu.
He pops another pill.
EXT. LAUNDOMAT - DAY
The direction of the sunlight has changed.
GARY
You know how at the dentists, they put the metal implements in like plastic?
CODY
Yeah, to show theyre sterilized.
GARY
Yeah, supposedly. Doesnt fool me though.
He takes a long drag.
GARY (CONT'D)
Doesnt fool me...
INT. LAUNDOMAT - DAY
Bhanu is asleep.
CLOSE ON THE PILL BOTTLE - Tylenol PM.
Snickers of laughter off-camera. The sound of the door chime.
Bhanu wakes up. Hes groggy. He looks at the clock.
Quarter after five.
BHANU
Son of a Bikram!
CUT TO:
His machine. Open. One lone shirt trails out.
Bhanu is upset. He looks around.
EXT. LAUNDOMAT - DAY
Bhanu emerges from the shop. Looks toward the sounds of bad music drifting from the alley.
EXT. ALLEY - CONTINUOUS
Pan from the trash cans to Bhanu, coming around the corner fast and with a purpose. His eyes light up when he sees...
Gary and Cody. They are leaning against the wall. We can see nothing different about them.
BHANU
Have you seen my clothes?
GARY
What, like other than the ones youre wearing?
BHANU
I was washing clothes in there; somebody took them.
Silence. Cody removes an orange from (?) his pocket and starts peeling it.
CODY
Orange?
BHANU
No, I dont want orange. I want my clothes back.
GARY
Chillax, man.
BHANU
No, I will not chillax until I have my effing clothes back.
CODY
I wish we could help you man.
Bhanu moves like hes going to bitch-slap Cody but at the last second decides instead to adjust Codys posture. When he does, the camera drops down to reveal that Gary and Cody are wearing yoga clothes.
BHANU
You have a lot of tension in your shoulders.
000200000B7E00000E21 B78,Cody takes a deep hit off a joint.
CODY
Dont I know it, dude.
BHANU
Ok guys, heres the thing. Im sorta into non-violence.
GARY
What, like Ghandi?
BHANU
Yeah, pretty much exactly like that.
GARY
(to Cody)
His refusal of your orange was like a hunger strike.
BHANU
Im asking you to give me my clothes back.
GARY
Are you? Or are you just taking the present progressive tense to avoid localizing your request to a specific and definite time?
Bhanu bitch-slaps Gary.
BHANU
Give me back my clothes.
GARY
Geez, man. All you had to do was ask.
As they take off the yoga clothes, we see they are wearing other peoples clothing under them. Gary wears a pregnancy dress; Cody a tuxedo shirt.
BHANU
Now wheres my yoga mat?
Gary nods to the car.
Bhanu removes the mat from the car. It has black streaks running across part of it. He smells it. He blanches.
CODY
Sorry, man. We sorta converted it for weed purposes.
Bhanu walks over and bitch-slaps Cody. He then exits.
Silence.
GARY
Wow.
CODY
Did not see that coming, man. Did you?
GARY
Friggin Ghandi pulling a Dirty Harry? No way.
Silence. Cody passes Gary some orange.
GARY (CONT'D)
Just like the dinosaurs, man. Just like the dinosaurs.
Cody nods his head in appreciation as we...
FADE OUT.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 License.
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(V.O.)
(O.S.)
(O.C.) (CONT'D)
(SUBTITLE) EsTTR CUT TO: FADE IN:
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MATCH CUT TO: JUMP CUT TO: FADE TO BLACK. FRsTSI = INT EXT I/E 8 LAUNDOMAT - DAY ALLEY GUsTST
DAY NIGHT
AFTERNOON MORNING EVENING LATER
MOMENTS LATER
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